i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
