thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
