I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
