Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
