And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
