I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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