You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
