I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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