Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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