i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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