Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm like, not good at living.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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