dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Randomize
