Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
