That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Randomize
