hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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