My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
