I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I think your dad took our porno
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
