I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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