dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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