She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Come see our sink grown plant.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
