Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
