i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
