Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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