ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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