What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
