you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
