if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
