I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
