Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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