My hand turned me down
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
