Non-Jews are for practice
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
My pussy is not your playground.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
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