no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I deserve this hangover.
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