Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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