oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
