party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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