she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
