Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
