no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
