Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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