The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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