Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
