I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
