Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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