is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Randomize
