so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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