I puked a lego.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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