He is such a slut. More and more my type.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
