I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
