just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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