I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
