Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
