Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
