How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
