so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
