I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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