oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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