this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
the gays at disneyland are vicious
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
