that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
